When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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