its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
