I am in a vortex of obligation.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize