When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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