Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
no, he came in my armpit
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.