yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize