What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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