im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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