Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Randomize