check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love you. Go after that dick
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
