Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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