Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
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Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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