Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
