Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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