um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
