Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
