I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
