i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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