she woke up with a sticky ear
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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