battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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