i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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