Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This baby is an asshole
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
