I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
