Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize