i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
