oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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