I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize