So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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