Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize