Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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