You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize