Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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