Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He passed out mid-signature
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
