What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
