Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
