Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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