I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize