Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
