He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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