I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
