If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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