i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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