why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize