Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Pooping to opera.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
