Ambien. No doubt about it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize