We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
