So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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