Those balls look pretty dangerous.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
