Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
