imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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